I am working with ya dautta,
Dont be scared or nervous,
I am here to be at your service.
One of my friends says that God makes babies so wonderful and cute that you love them through their teenage years. God also makes them teenagers so you are able to let them move on and move out when they are in their late teens. I always thought that was a pretty good analogy.
I know you nurtured and sheltered your child to the nth degree of your love and ability. Now they have gone off and grown up. I know, the nerve of them. They have been out in the working world for awhile and may actually have saved up some of their own money to consider starting to look for their very own home.
This will be a new milestone for them. I know you will want to be there and support them through this transaction. I am going to tell you, as a first time buyer specialist, you – Mom and Dad- need to be there for them, but you MUST let them navigate this transaction on their own with their REALTOR®. They will call you to discuss the transaction and ask for your advice. They will resent you if you try to “do” the transaction for them. I have seen this happen more times than not, but far be it for me to get in the middle of a family squabble.
The questions you, Mom and Dad, will want to ask your kids as they purchase their first home are;
- Who are you working with as your agent?
- How much experience does your agent have?
- Does the agent specialize in the area you are interested in?
- Does the agent have a good balance of Buyer Transactions vs Seller transactions.
- Of the Buyer Transactions – are first time home buyers one of the agent’s specialties.
- Did the agent refer 2 or 3 lenders so rates and services can be compared.
- Does the agent represent the buyer or the seller.
- Will the agent have a Buyer Broker Agreement where the agent has a Fiduciary relationship with the buyer?
- Does the agent have a “Buyer Pre-qualification Appointment” to lay a good foundation for a smooth transaction?
- Does the agent have a grasp on basic financing information.
If you wonder about the agent, you can do a search based on the agent’s license number with the state commission. In Maryland, we work under a Fiduciary relationship. That means that the agent has to, by law, put the interest of their client above all others – even the agent’s own interests. Fiduciary is the highest form of loyalty in any relationship. As a matter of fact, we agents probably have a higher loyalty to your kids than you do now that they are adults. So know they are in good hands.
Mom and Dad, don’t worry. You did a great job raising your children. They know right from wrong. When I work with First time home buyers, they will typically come and see me for the initial buyer prequalification appointment. Once that has been done and we have the ground work set, they will go out with me and look at different homes and pick the ones they like the most. That will be when they call you into the transaction. They will want to show you the work and research they have done. They will also want your opinion about the homes they have narrowed down in their search.
Once you get there to see the house(s) they have picked, look for the major items of concern, but please don’t beat the house up. I have had parents be so hard on the house their kids choose, I have had some cry at the house because they think you hate their house. Just help them, don’t criticize them. Remember, it is THEIR home, not yours.
I find that the parents that come with the kids to every appointment from start to finish and make all of the decisions during the transactions end up with more friction between family members than friction with the agents. Remember, your kids are no dummies and they have probably done more homework and research on the internet than you did when you bought your first home.
Just relax, be there for them, let them ask you – because they will want your advice- and it should be a smooth transaction for all.